If only I were clean.

If I were a clean person, I'd have much more time to do the things I want to do. Every time I cook, I have to start by doing dishes and clearing off and wiping down every horizontal surface that's been loaded up with junk. Of course, every time I cook, I claim I am going to clean up as soon as I'm done. But then I sit down and eat, and maybe I put my dishes in the dishwasher. It's so frustrating. I feel like all I do is clean clean clean.

What is the solution to this constant headache? Usually when I decide to change my ways and get organized, I find places for all my crap, like shelves or containers. My things are put away for a day, maybe two if I'm lucky, but then everything is right back to where it started. Maybe if I get rid of some things, but all my hobbies make me a bigger pack rat than I would naturally be (and naturally, I'm a pretty big pack rat).

Hmm... What to do? Where to start? Ho hum. I'll put it off for a day or two and continue considering my options. :)

The New Year

Maybe hopeful dreams and plans of a fresh start happens every time the new year rolls in again, but I don't recall it ever really happening to me. Sure, I love to sit down and plan out how I can save more money so I can feel comfortable and not live month to month. That more typically occurs on a monthly basis. I have often believed that the "school" year was more like my new years with resolutions and bounding hopefulness.

So here I sit, investigating what to really do with my life. Do I want to just work my days away working on accounts payable while manning the front desk of a design/construction company? Truthfully, I feel a bit out of place and haven't really made friends with anyone beyond friendly acquaintances. (But then again, I have that moral dilemma with whether coworkers should be friends.) The glamor and glitz of being surrounded by artists has worn off a bit. I feel like even though I work hard I don't have much of anywhere to work towards. Yet again in my life, I feel like I'm swirling around, aimlessly living day to day.

For a minute, I was reconsidering the military. It's generally the first place I look when I'm feeling pointless, even though there's a whole lot about the military which screams NOT ERIN (and everyone I mentioned my little notion to also screamed NOT ERIN). I suppose it's just a place to start the thinking because I never follow through and know better than to allow myself to delve too deep into the idea. Still, part of me says, 'but wouldn't teaching military brats overseas be something!'

This morning I'm reconsidering education. It's kind of easier to enter a career with politics that don't quite add up to what I'd like when I'm in a career other than my dream job and there's still bs politics that bug me. I could plan on a larger time frame than I did originally (the one where I missed all the deadlines because I was feeling indecisive). Work on getting a substitute teaching gig established for next year, investigate licensure options, begin applications for grad school, and see about taking some evening classes. I'm not sure how that works time line now that I wrote it out--I did half of all that just this morning.

So, Happy New Years. I'm also going to work out so I can be physically fit for my trip to Europe at the end of June, take more pictures to document my existence and interesting things around me, and attempt to maintain friendships better. Oh, and I want to cook more complicated dishes. Soup cooking has really killed my enthusiasm for new dinner delights (even though I had a successful bout of making sushi rolls). I think I might try flossing on a regular basis as well. And I'm going to try to convince my birds to eat healthy fruits and veggies (all seed diets are bad and maybe then I'll stock the house with fruits and veggies). And I will take Daisy to the park and/or play with her everyday. And I will try to keep perspective when I get all huffy and burled up in a ball of rage. All in all, I think I will just attempt to be a perfect being.