so an update is what you want?

I've been a little overwhelmed lately. I found out that the paper that's due in my contemporary world class is a 10-15 as opposed to what I figured would be a 6-8 at most--two weeks before the quarter is over. I have a paper that analyzes a survey on usage due in my grammar class and I have no idea what to write. We haven't talked much at all about usage and I really don't see how it relates in any way to what we've been doing all quarter. Speaking of what we've been doing all quarter--I just don't get it! So, In two weeks, I have to teach myself grammar--something I've never struggled with and always just "got" it. Sigh. very frustrating.

My African American Studies class, which ironically is the one I feared the most, is the only class that is going well. I feel comfortable discussing the various ideas and concepts and weaving from text to text to create a solid idea. I got an A on the paper, I've been an active participant in class, and I think I have a definite A for the class. She's not going to have us write a paper now though. That kind of sucks for me, but I think I'll be able to do whatever she has planned just fine.

Finally, I am sick. It came over me REALLY suddenly yesterday evening. One minute I was just my normal self sitting at the computer doing homework. Next minute, I start coughing and it hasn't stopped yet. Cough drops don't seem to do anything. I'm of course worried that I'll get whatever Mike's got--he still hasn't managed to ask the doctor if what he has is communicable. I'm probably needlessly worrying about that though. I feel like a ghost though. I don't know if I look it, but I feel like all the blood has drained out of my face and brain, and it's all left feeling a bit numb. That's probably from the cold medicine I took, although, that doesn't explain my hot/cold confusion. My face stays cold while my body quickly jumps between sweating and shivering. I think this matches the classic definition of "I have a cold." It's still not fun.

I had a good weekend overall. I didn't get done the previously mentioned gianormous load of work I have to get done. Did some homework, but not nearly enough. I'm just going to try to suck it up and get it all done. Next quarter should be fun, and I have that to look forward to through all the hell of this quarter.

I'll be taking Digital Photography, Adolescent Literature, and Writing Fiction (the 200 level again!). I pretty much know what to expect from the fiction class--one or two stories, which I am taking just so I can write about the ideas I already have. Adolescent Lit is a 3 credit B.S.-your-way-through-it pre-education class. And Photography--I always wanted to take it, but didn't want to buy a camera for it, but since I own a digital camera, I'd say it works out rather well. :) hurray for next quarter! Let's get the hell outta this one!

Oh, and I've not had time to work on my crafts, although I still am working on that shawl. More to come I'm sure. :) It's almost sewing season. I want to make a quilt.

sigh... (continued)

The world saddens me. Sometimes life just isn't fair. Today it's not my life. It's just the world. So sad and unfair. Well, Exam time!

Exams are just wrong. :)

***Post-Exam***

I am at one with the world around me. I don't know what happened, but coming out of my exam, I felt so good. Mix that with the complete sadness from before the exam, and I'm perfectly balanced. Or at least I had that surge of energy pass through my body that made me smile the huge dumb smile that I get and cannot stop or tame. The moment all came together as the bar that normally plays some form of pop or rock was today playing Pink Floyd. The world is in sync. It feels really good, but with the undertone of the ugliness. I'm in awe of the ugliness and the beauty. The rain, the music, my feelings, all was sad, yet beautiful. Whenever this happens I feel like I possess the secret of the world. It all suddenly makes sense.

So, I came home and put on Smashing Pumpkins (thought it was appropriate) and worked on my knitting some. I'm making a shawl. Better than the others. It's knit. In Symphony. Sounds fancy, huh? Well, it is. Here's my picture of what I had before today (the pattern will show up better because it fit on one needle. I'm going to eventually have to purchase a pair of circular needles for it I think. We'll see. I do still love Mom's size 11 needles. :)



I think I'm finally going to eat some food now. My next endevour of the day will be trying to denerdify my friend and go get a drink or do something else that is fun. Tally-ho!

And Love was in the Air... A Post-Valentine's Day Post

It seems everyone else has taken advantage of the moment of Valentine's Day to talk about relationships or lack there of, so I want to be in with the crowd. I've been wondering about relationships a lot these days and whether people can really, truly be happy in them. In my African American Studies course we're reading Maud Martha, in which Maud has a plain and simple marriage with Paul. Their marriage is nothing grand, but they both do things that they think the other likes. In the end, whatever they do is never really what the other wants and the whole marriage is rather gray, sad, and bleak. Is it a relationship of convienience? Or is it the normal thing? I really don't know, but it seems that lack of communication is the biggest problem. The second biggest problem is that no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot know another person enough to try to please them (which is why communication is so key--that's what let's the other person know the other wants).

And love... When are you in love? Is it when your heart flutters at the thought of someone, or is it when you feel comfortable with someone, or does love happen when you say it so many times that you believe it to be true, even though you don't remember what made you say it in the first place? Then there's the question of feeling loved. I fall in love with those who love me. I've never gone out of my way looking for love where it might not be--that would be too disappointing (well, truthfully, there were about two times I did do so). I move wherever that whim of love might be, only to suddenly have the feeling that this thing, Love, was a trick and that I need to run away.

So, I run away, feel lonely for a few days and find a new love whim. My heart races again. My thoughts are highly focused on my new whim. I feel happy more of the time. The change feels good. And sooner or later, I realize I have no idea how I got to where I am, question reality's puzzling mysteries, and run.

Yes, I'm a runner. The monotony that develops in love bores me to run to the next exciting adventure. I think this is how I face most aspects of life. Interesting. Curious. Confusing. Leaving me frustrated.

Love! What is it good for?

Silly Stories of Spinning

I took my spindle with newly spun yarn on it home to show off to my mom. I was so proud of myself because I had picked it up faster than she--she couldn't even get it started! And then she told me I spun the wrong way--I was spinning to the right--but I should have been spinning to the other right. Fortunately, it wasn't that horrible and we still made AWESOME yarn (see the hat/sweater accents.

I thought I had another funny story, but I don't know what it was now. Maybe it was about my bloody gnome roving. I mixed about four colors in a big pot and ended up with a brutally murdered gnome. I like it though, and I think it's spinning up nicely. Sure, it's not mom's beautiful blues, but I think overall it's a success and the colors look just fine spun. Here it is. I like it! and that's such an awesome picture of it!! Now, if only I can get the rest of world straightened out. Is it crooked? I don't know, but nothing feels quite on target. What is my target? I wish I knew. All this uncertainty mixed with loneliness makes me feel really bummed out. I need more distractions in my life.

Well, I guess until I get a better idea, I'll be spinning my bloody gnome and listening to music until I go to bed. Then I'll wake up and go to work. And hopefully that will be good. I really need to work out soon to get out of my slump of sadness. Sigh. Sleep sounds better.

Sweater accents--Yes or No?

hmmm? Like it or not?

Yesterday we dyed, today we dyed again.

Well, I did it! I spun wool into yarn. Mom and I dyed the yarn, and now I have a hat! Check out Mom's site to see the whole process.

Here's the finished hat!

I have a slight issue with keeping my eyes open while being photographed. I kind of wonder if I always look like my eyes are closed

The color of my yarn is phenomenol. Absolutely, positively the best results for a first time spin and a first time dye. I definitely want to do this again! I have not started to spin the roving that I dyed yet, but it's the Bloody Gnome stuff pictured on mom's site.

I came home from Canton and stopped at the library, four book stores including two Half Price Books, Barnes and Nobles, and Borders, looking for Maud Martha--due tomorrow at 3:30. Nobody has it, and none of their chains have it either. Columbus is dry out of Maud Marthas. I suppos I shall spin in this case. Sigh. So frustrating. I had it on hold at the library, but that appearently had already finished its course and is no longer there for me. argh.

Anyways, I'm going to update some more pictures for my pictures site, so check it out sometime soon. :)

Time Flies... or simply disappears. :)

sleep? food? water? living? there is nothing. I feel like I've just done 3 days of deep meditation. Really it's just been a few hours of spinning. It is addictive, but not in the sugar rush kind of way--in the sense that you don't have any concept that time has passed. Very relaxed.


I LOVE THIS STUFF!

YAY!!!! :)

so much happiness!!!

NEW TOY!!!!?!?!!?

Who would have thought that when I went down to deliver the mail today there'd be waiting for me a package?! A mysterious surprise package. I haven't ordered anything recently--or have I? Then I saw where it was from and had some kind of idea--From Midstate Wool...

I'm not sure if you can tell from the picture, but I am very excited about this. Now I can spin! This is quite a development... though I suppose saying I can is a bit presumptuous of me, but I can TRY to spin at least!!!! Who knew happiness could come in a 10 in x 9 in x 8 in box???

THANKS MOM!

hi-diddle-li-dee....

Well, that rough week I was expecting--not so rough. Once I sat down to write my paper last night, I did it in three hours (five pages in 3 hours needing only minor changes=best record time ever!). And the other homework--turned in and only spent about half an hour working on it Monday night. I even went to see the Connery/Hepburn Robin Hood film (and free pizza/pop) last night with Liz. So, procrastination=a good thing! :) Wow, and Sunday or Monday I even went to the gym with Stacy.

I never really had faith in myself to go out and do fun things and get all my work done. But here I am. :)

So, in case you didn't notice, I replaced the bad pictures from the last post with better pictures. I tried to pose better in these ones. If I'm going to be my own model, I've got to start looking somewhat normal--I just can't keep my eyes open for pictures! Heh. I've learned to use the timer feature which accounts for the 100% improvement in lighting. It's so hard to get good pictures when you're the one taking them...

Ok, about the scarf... (and this is kind of a secret, so don't tell any one)... it's knit! and it actually looks good. The yarn was a little too tedious to crochet for a scarf and I just don't have all the sized hooks I need these days. Once I have the extra money to spend, I'll start collecting up all the hooks I want, but until then, Mom's borrowed pair of size 11 needles will substitute. Besides I knit up that giant slipper in no time AND it's even very even. heh.

OH! before I forget! I've been meaning to post pre-christmas pictures of my "secret" projects.

Here she is! Great Grandma looking stunning in the flowery shawl I made her. I appearently did not get any pictures of the one I originally made for my sister, but this is good too because I get to show off my Great Grandma. I want to write a book about her. We'll see how that goes. :)

Instant Gratification Needed?

Well, I sure did need some instant gratification. I tried a couple of times to make a cool hat with this cool yarn I brought back from home, and finally (after about 3 other tries) I was successful. Of course, using a pattern--and using a pattern made for the thickness of the yarns--would have been helpful. But, appearently not necessary. I did it! No pattern! I can create my own fashions! This is very exciting progress for me and I am VERY pleased with my new hat. :)

Well, here it is! I wanted to show all three pictures cuz A) they look pretty silly as usual, and B) none of them seemed to individually capture the hat. the bright one looks too pink, but is a good show of what the hat looks like, the other pictures are good with the color. The first one there is just ridiculous with my face. And it is red cuz I had a rough day, but it's much better now, so I'm ok!

Anyways, I am very pleased with it and hope it will keep me warm in the sudden coldness. It was made to specifically keep the ears as warm as possible. The stripe was just adding in a strand of angora/acrylic/wool? blend yarn. I thought about putting an edge of just that fluffy stuff, but I don't think it really goes with the overall style of the hat. Though, I'm already thinking about making another one.

Well, as I've said many times already today, I MUST get to work! I have procrastinated long enough (funny, I think if you look at my pictures page, it says the same thing....) Oops. Oh well. It'll just be a long week, and I'll have something to keep me busy. :)

Slippers fit for a Giant!

well, it only took two hours, and I've knit me a giant sized slipper. You guessed it (well perhaps not)--FELTING! I hope it works out ok... it's pretty big, but I suppose it's not really any bigger than the ones I've seen in pictures. I am so excited and have other big plans--Like making really cool felted clogs that I could possibly wear outside? I like that concept...specialized clogs. :) Well, here is:

I know I know... I rule :) I hate being on the I rule kick, but it feels better than the Gee I really suck Kick. So, I'll just accept it and feel happy.

I've been working on gloves, but they're kinda driving me nuts. It was easier to make the gloves fit me perfectly using worsted weight than using sock weight.

Not much else going on... I've been teaching myself to hem pants. So far, so good with that. I might try to get them all done tonight. I'm tired of not being able to wear some of the pants I want to cuz of a dumb hem....