Childhood Dreams

I remember the family activity of making dinner, all of us crowded in the small kitchen at my dad's house. Italian was his specialty: super cheesy lasagna, pizza baked in olive oil, and, of course, spaghetti.

My job was usually to help with the salad. I would wash the romaine lettuce, spin it out in the salad spinner, and tear it up in a big wooden bowl.

Meanwhile, my dad would make the dressing: olive oil, freshly squeezed lemon juice, garlic, spices, and sometimes some vinegar. It was a dressing to clear out the worst sinuses, and it was delicious. (This dressing probably explains my addiction to an insane amount of garlic.)

The rest of the meal is a blur to me because I usually did not do much with the main dish other than eat it. Still, I can't remember a single time the Italian meal wasn't delicious.

While I love making the traditional Italian dishes of my childhood, I also like to branch out from the other side of my family.

My mom and I are cold people, so hot dishes warmed us up through the winter months in Ohio. My mom was a fan of throw it together, let it simmer, eat it up, so the dish I best remember is her chili.

While some people acclaim their chili for the unbearable spicy taste, hers was not spicy. Her chili was mild, but, it was always delightful, served steaming with some sour cream and cheddar cheese melting into the soup.

As both my sisters were vegetarian, a special treat my mom and I would share between just the two of us was warm deli meat/cheese sandwiches.

The sandwiches were different every time. My favorite was the ham and cheese with a good mustard spread. We worked together to make the simple sandwiches, wrapped them in foil, and baked them in the oven.

The end result was always delicious: gooey cheese, blended with the sauce, with a tasty ham or turkey. Such a simple a recipe never went wrong.

Now I feel comfortable with cooking. I love the delicate process involved with making a dish from scratch. For so many meals, I don't even use a recipe and just make adjustments to fit my mood.

My favorite dishes to make are a reflection of my past: garlic powered Italian, creamy soups, and hot sandwiches: Creamy/cheesy broccoli or potato soups, sometimes spiced with a "fiesta" flare, Italian seasoned vegetable soup, home made Reubens toasted in the toaster oven, and, what has become my own invention: the Erin-Burger (hamburger topped with any tasty special cheese, mayo on the bottom of the bun, spicy brown (or specialty) mustard mixed with dill relish on the top.

My dad dreamed of opening a quaint little Italian restaurant. The food was good, and maybe it could have worked out if the circumstances would have been different.

Now that I have found such joy in cooking, I feel the same lofty dream while I am dancing, singing, and mixing up a great meal in the kitchen. Cooking is happiness, especially when the eating's so good.

I'm a Busy Body

Yesterday was my last day at GTC. Even though I felt like I hadn't made a lot of friends, leaving made me feel like I had made friends with everyone. I baked cupcakes on Wednesday and reminisced about all the good people I worked with, until my feet and my back ached and I was too tired to do a complete clean up. I think cupcakes did help the day go well. No tears. It's hard to say goodbye to good people. Maybe it's just hard to say goodbye. Eric and I celebrated the new beginnings by going to eat at a china buffet, and it was good.

The new plan is to give myself more time, working part time at a craft store stocking shelves and tutoring several evenings while taking classes. Money is probably my biggest concern with this idea. I don't feel like I really splurge all that often, yet my monetary output has gone up since college, when I lived on at least half as much as I've made in the last two years. Of course, I also have lofty ambitions of making it to the gym more regularly--if I'm paying the money, I'm going to go and I'm going to work myself out until I see the results I want. I'm turning it up--Look out!

Classes begin on Monday, and if I get the job at the tutoring center, I will start training hopefully on Tuesday. Oh yeah, and I have the ACT to take for that on Saturday. I really haven't left myself much of a break, so I really hope this works out as planned and I get a little more time from this new and improved version of living. Back to classes though. This semester I will be taking all of the instructional courses, which should be more exciting than the issues course that overwhelmed me with even more problems in our education system that have no answers. What is a girl to do? Well, this girl is going to tough it out and be the best teacher I can.

Speaking of teachers--I was so caught up in all the whirl of my own life changes that I missed my mom's big one. School started yesterday! I can't believe it! Such a short summer that's now over! I think of all the things she did this summer and it's amazing. Her latest thing, finished yesterday by Gretchen I think, was remodeling her bedroom. I can't wait to see it. They refinished all the wood and painted, and the next big thing will be repainting the old orange and green dressers. But she also made great headway with the garage, patio furniture, and... I'm not sure what else right now, but she had a very busy summer.

I still have to clean, finish Debbie work, and the the books I'll need for school. But right now I should eat so I am ready to work. :) Those other chores with just have to wait.

If only I were clean.

If I were a clean person, I'd have much more time to do the things I want to do. Every time I cook, I have to start by doing dishes and clearing off and wiping down every horizontal surface that's been loaded up with junk. Of course, every time I cook, I claim I am going to clean up as soon as I'm done. But then I sit down and eat, and maybe I put my dishes in the dishwasher. It's so frustrating. I feel like all I do is clean clean clean.

What is the solution to this constant headache? Usually when I decide to change my ways and get organized, I find places for all my crap, like shelves or containers. My things are put away for a day, maybe two if I'm lucky, but then everything is right back to where it started. Maybe if I get rid of some things, but all my hobbies make me a bigger pack rat than I would naturally be (and naturally, I'm a pretty big pack rat).

Hmm... What to do? Where to start? Ho hum. I'll put it off for a day or two and continue considering my options. :)

The New Year

Maybe hopeful dreams and plans of a fresh start happens every time the new year rolls in again, but I don't recall it ever really happening to me. Sure, I love to sit down and plan out how I can save more money so I can feel comfortable and not live month to month. That more typically occurs on a monthly basis. I have often believed that the "school" year was more like my new years with resolutions and bounding hopefulness.

So here I sit, investigating what to really do with my life. Do I want to just work my days away working on accounts payable while manning the front desk of a design/construction company? Truthfully, I feel a bit out of place and haven't really made friends with anyone beyond friendly acquaintances. (But then again, I have that moral dilemma with whether coworkers should be friends.) The glamor and glitz of being surrounded by artists has worn off a bit. I feel like even though I work hard I don't have much of anywhere to work towards. Yet again in my life, I feel like I'm swirling around, aimlessly living day to day.

For a minute, I was reconsidering the military. It's generally the first place I look when I'm feeling pointless, even though there's a whole lot about the military which screams NOT ERIN (and everyone I mentioned my little notion to also screamed NOT ERIN). I suppose it's just a place to start the thinking because I never follow through and know better than to allow myself to delve too deep into the idea. Still, part of me says, 'but wouldn't teaching military brats overseas be something!'

This morning I'm reconsidering education. It's kind of easier to enter a career with politics that don't quite add up to what I'd like when I'm in a career other than my dream job and there's still bs politics that bug me. I could plan on a larger time frame than I did originally (the one where I missed all the deadlines because I was feeling indecisive). Work on getting a substitute teaching gig established for next year, investigate licensure options, begin applications for grad school, and see about taking some evening classes. I'm not sure how that works time line now that I wrote it out--I did half of all that just this morning.

So, Happy New Years. I'm also going to work out so I can be physically fit for my trip to Europe at the end of June, take more pictures to document my existence and interesting things around me, and attempt to maintain friendships better. Oh, and I want to cook more complicated dishes. Soup cooking has really killed my enthusiasm for new dinner delights (even though I had a successful bout of making sushi rolls). I think I might try flossing on a regular basis as well. And I'm going to try to convince my birds to eat healthy fruits and veggies (all seed diets are bad and maybe then I'll stock the house with fruits and veggies). And I will take Daisy to the park and/or play with her everyday. And I will try to keep perspective when I get all huffy and burled up in a ball of rage. All in all, I think I will just attempt to be a perfect being.